


Tickled Pink

by nhasablog



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alien Planet, Gen, Tickling, Titillarosea, pink planet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 10:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11872113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhasablog/pseuds/nhasablog
Summary: “So what is it?” Jim asked, his eyes never once leaving the Titalli-whatever.“In simple terms, it is a pink tickler.”“A pink what?”(Or, The Enterprise crew find themselves on a pink planet, and Jim discovers yet another expression that is used on Earth but is originally from somewhere else.)





	Tickled Pink

During his time in space Jim had learned that there were several expressions they used on Earth that had actually originated from various other planets, though it didn’t mean they were necessarily in use on said planets. He’d felt a little silly that he hadn’t realized it earlier. He knew how intertwined the galaxies were, and that it was practically impossible for a planet to not get at least a little influenced by another. Of course Earth wasn’t an exception to this.

Alive and kicking? Apparently there used to be a planet a long time ago - destruction cause: unknown - where the dominating mammals kicked their way through life. Literally. Even when asleep they would be kicking their several pairs of legs, and if the movements stopped it meant that they were dead. Jim had figured this made sense until he’d found out that if their legs were forced to stop kicking their bodies gave in and they dropped dead on the spot. As if their legs were their hearts. He still felt a chill whenever he thought of it.

The expression high and dry had apparently started on a planet surprisingly close to the Milky Way that was at large populated by a species similar to Earth’s prehistoric birds, more commonly known as dinosaurs. That species lived on a very dry planet, but once every hundred or so years a storm would reach them, and the results were devastating. The soil couldn’t handle water, and neither could the population, and while the majority of them attempted to flee by flying away, it was nearly impossible to fly while it rained. It hurt them too much, and thus the expression high and dry was born. High and dry was the goal that not many of them ever achieved, and as far as the universe was aware the population had died out since then.

Once Jim had realized that sayings from Earth could be found literally anywhere if you were observant enough he’s started creating a list in order to gather them. He figured he needed a hobby of some sort anyway.

They were on a pink planet, though upon closer inspection it was only the soil that was pink. The residents were a dark purple, their eyes constantly narrowed as if they were suspicious of everything. But they were friendly, and Jim took his best team and followed the natives to their queen in order to offer the support they had been called here for. Jim actually really liked it when they were called to a planet, because he felt less like he was intruding if the natives had been the ones to invite them over.

And he liked to be helpful, of course.

They were welcomed with literally open arms, which was a nice change after their previous stop at a planet where they were nearly killed for looking at the leader in the wrong way (“Thanks, Spock.”). It turned out that the crops had been going bad this year and they suspected something not entirely natural was going to town on them and needed Captain Kirk and his crew to help, as they were a very friendly species and didn’t know how to handle threats like these, even ones that could result in everyone starving to death. Jim and co. were of course on it.

“This planet freaks me out,” Bones said about an hour later when the crew were alone again. They were checking out the grounds around the main crops, and Jim could definitely get where Bones was coming from. The pink was almost  _too_ pink, and it you looked at the ground for too long you found yourself getting a little dizzy due to your eyes not being used to seeing a world this bright. Not to mention that the crops and fields looked just like they did at home, which caused a clash so big that Jim felt like he was in the 1980s or something.

But he kind of liked it. It was definitely fascinating. The others seemed to agree.

“Pardon me, Captain, but don’t you think that this is taking us a little too long?” Uhura said, having suddenly appeared at his side. “Wouldn’t it be better if we spread out a bit more? This planet is small, but it will take us days to examine it all at this pace.”

Jim nodded. “You’re right. Let’s split up, but I want you to partner up with someone. We don’t know what’s out there and I won’t have any of you be alone.”

Okay, the planet freaked him out a little bit too.

Jim ended up with Bones and Spock, since they were uneven, and together they journeyed even deeper into the field, careful to not accidentally step onto the crops that had managed to survive. It was actually quite an easy task, as the dying crops were slowly yet surely turning pink as well.

“Fascinating,” Spock mumbled, most likely to himself, and Jim would have to agree.

“Any theories on what we’re looking for?” Jim asked as they found themselves in a clearing in the field. The dying crops were entirely pink now, so this must’ve been one of the first spots to get affected.

“My money’s on some sort of vermin,” Bones said as he crouched down to take a closer look at the ground. “You see these bumps?”

“I see them,” Jim replied, leaning down as well.

“They remind me a lot of the ones that rodents and whatnot leave back in Georgia. My guess is that these things have somehow found their way here and are eating whatever they can find. It’s not uncommon.”

“And how do we get rid of them without killing an entire species?”

“We don’t, at least not until we’ve figured out what exactly they are.”

Spock had been suspiciously quiet during their conversation, and Jim turned his head in his direction to find him standing with his back toward them, his eyes stuck on something Jim couldn’t see. “Spock?”

“Captain.” Spock replied, almost automatically.

“You okay there?”

Spock turned and their eyes met. “I believe I have located what I suspect has caused the failing of the crops.”

“Oh?” Jim and Bones stood. “Do show.”

Spock stepped aside and they understood what he meant.

There, in the middle of the field, almost entirely hidden from view, was a giant creature, and Jim wasn’t sure exactly how to react. It was almost as big as them, but pink and fluffy with eyes so wide that Jim would never have expected it to do any harm. But it was, and that wasn’t good.

It was looking right at them.

“Don’t make any sudden movements,” he found himself saying. “We don’t know how dangerous this thing is.”

Spock was subtly waving his tricorder around in order to figure out just what this creature was, and Jim just prayed it wouldn’t notice or, Nova forbid, try to stop him.

The creature wasn’t moving, but Jim could tell it was more curious than terrified like they were, and it was blinking and blinking in some sort of attempt to try to figure them out. Maybe trying to figure out if it could eat them.

“We are witnessing a Titillarosea in its natural habitat,” Spock said, sounding almost amazed. Almost.

“Natural habitat? The natives said they haven’t had this problem before.”

“It is an endangered species, Doctor McCoy. This could very well be the last of it. However, considering the spread of the damage in a limited amount of time I do suspect that it is not alone, but we cannot be certain of just how many are left. The last time they were seen neither of us had been born yet.”

“So what is it?” Jim asked, his eyes never once leaving the Titalli-whatever.

“In simple terms, it is a pink tickler.”

“A pink what?”

“A pink tickler. A big, circular and feathery creature that can be found in areas with a significant amount of plant life. I am not surprised that it somehow ended up here, though I cannot tell exactly how it arrived. It consumes nutrition by sticking its claws - which are currently hidden from our view due to the feathers - into the stem of the plants. It proceeds to extract some sort of venom from its claws into the crops, thus killing it quickly. It does not eat it instantly, but at times lets it rot as it tastes better. The pink crops we are seeing are pink due to the Titillarosea’s venom, and are being stored for later consumption.”

“And what does any of that have to do with tickling?” Bones asked, side eyeing Jim briefly.

“It is common to believe that it is tickling the plants when it is trying to kill them.”

“So it doesn’t  _actually_ tickle you?”

“On the contrary, Captain, if it finds another creature that is willing to endure it, it most certainly does.”

“I’m confused. So it’s called that because it tickles the plants, but it tickles humans too?”

“Not only humans-”

“You know what I mean.”

“It has been known to tickle other species,” Spock continued. “There was a time where it was kept as a pet to get rid of unwanted weeds, but also perhaps to be playful with its owners.”

“This… is strange. So the planet isn’t technically under attack by this… pink tickler?”

“Not necessarily. If captured it can be trained to only kill the plants that the natives do not want.”

“But that wouldn’t be fair to it, would it? To capture it.”

Spock was quiet for only half a second, but it said so much. “No. It would not.”

“So we’re not gonna catch it. Any suggestions on how to get it away from here, at least?”

“Am I the only one who finds it funny that it ended up on a pink planet while it’s almost the exact shade of pink? And it turns crops pink?”

“I do not believe that is a coincidence, Doctor. I have reason to believe it picked this location due to how easy it is to hide.”

“Clever. I like it.”

“How are we gonna get it away from here?” Jim repeated, a bit annoyed now.

“That is simple, Captain. We will let it tickle one of us in order to get it to trust us, and then we can lead it to the other side of the planet where the plant life is poisonous for the natives, but not for the Titillarosea.”

Jim thought for sure he’d misheard him. “We… what?”

“Have you noticed that it has not attacked us for as long as we have been standing here?” They all looked at the pink tickler, and it was true that it had barely moved. “It is curious, and I am certain it would not be opposed to bonding with us.”

“I vote Jim,” Bones said before Jim could even open his mouth. “To be tickled, I mean.”

Jim turned toward him. “Why me?”

Bones raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to reveal that information to Spock?”

“I am already aware of the Captain’s fondness of the playful game you humans engage in.”

Jim’s face was on fire. “Okay! I’ll do it. Just stop taunting me.”

“Captain, we are not-”

“Stop. That’s an order. Let me just… Let me just get tickled by this thing so that we can save this planet.”

“Saved by tickling. This mission was made for you, kid.”

“Bones, I will literally fire you.”

“Uh huh. Go to your creature already.”

Jim approached it slowly, and it seemed to perk up, as if it had been waiting for him this whole time. Maybe Spock had a point and this thing  _did_ want to bond with him. The thought made him feel strange in a way he couldn’t explain.

“Do I just-” He held up his hand between them, uncertain, too afraid to look away to get answers from Spock.

Apparently Spock wasn’t needed.

The thing reached for him, and Jim’s initial and frankly sensible reaction was to run, but it grabbed him before he could even move and was trapping him between its two paws. Jim’s heart was too frantic for him to properly appreciate the fact that its claws were nowhere in sight.

“Uh, guys-”

“Do not panic, Captain. Titillarosea are not known for hurting other species.”

“And apparently they’re almost endangered,” Jim replied. “Maybe they’ve learnt better.”

But before Jim could worry even more or begin to struggle the Titillarosea was extracting its claws - which were an even lighter pink - and Jim was fearing for his goddamn life until all he could focus on was how much those claws tickled against his sides. And how much those feathers tickled against his neck. And how much the Titillarosea wasn’t letting him escape. And how much he was actually enjoying it.

He was already giggling like a maniac, his body twitching in the pink tickler’s grip, though not having enough space to properly squirm. He reckoned this could be considered torture for some, but for him, while unbearable, it was more fun than anything. He hated how Bones had known this would be his reaction. He hated that Spock got to witness it. But he loved this more, and therefore didn’t regret it.

He was pretty sure the Titillarosea could tell he was enjoying himself. He wasn’t sure how he knew, but he knew. The feathers against his neck moved slower to his ears, making him want to scrunch up his shoulders so desperately but being unable to. He could almost see Bones grinning smugly at him, the vision growing stronger when his friend said, “Having fun?”

He was so gonna fire him later.

“Is that a blush I see, kid?”

He was gonna  _ban_ him from ever entering the Enterprise. In fact, he was gonna dump him here with the friendly but strange locals. See how he liked it.

“The Captain’s complexion does appear to be matching the planet’s soil and the Titillarosea a lot more than previously.”

He was gonna leave Spock too.

It was as if the Titillarosea could sense that Jim was troubled, because suddenly the tickling intensified, and he was almost screaming with laughter now, the bubbly giggling from before long gone. This was where he would be howling for mercy, but do pink ticklers listen?

“Please!” he found himself choking out anyway. “Please, noho mohohore!”

They did, and it was backing off within seconds, but it was still watching Jim with those curious eyes of his.

And Jim could’ve sworn he felt some sort of connection. But maybe that was the ghost tickles all over his body.

“Come on,” he said to the creature, his voice a little hoarse. “Let’s take you to a place where no one will care if you eat all the plants.”

And that was how he found out the expression tickled pink wasn’t just hypothetical. While he hadn’t literally turned pink like the crops, parts of his clothes were definitely not the same color as before, due to the Titillarosea’s claws having leaked. But Jim didn’t complain. In retrospect he reckoned he was lucky he hadn’t turned entirely pink himself.

“You did turn pink, though,” Bones told him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that blush.”

Jim should’ve left him on the goddamn planet.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [tumblr](http://nhasablog.tumblr.com) for tickle fics.
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](http://nhasasideblog.tumblr.com) for non-tickle fics.


End file.
